悪例１

1998.9.3

　

以下のメモランダムは、私がアメリカの会社で仕事をしているとき、ある朝、私の机に置かれていたものです。「URGENT - PLEASE READ THIS !」にびっくりして、急いで読んでみましたが、どうすればよいのかわかりません。注意を喚起しているだけであるとわかるのに、ずいぶん時間がかかりました。

　

「いつからいつまで、どこそこで電話システムのメンテナンス工事がある」、「このメモはその工事に対して注意を喚起するものである」ということを、第1パラグラフで述べてほしいです。細かな話しは、その後述べればよいでしょう。

　

ネイティブといえどもライティングの基礎を知らなければ、まともな文章は書けないのです。

　

MEMO:

February 18, 1993

TO:

Voice and Data Network Users - Buildings 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10

FROM:

Liz Campbell

RE:

Telephone Cable Maintenance Project

CC:

Peter Kenyon, Mark Jacobson, Robert Caves, Marti Menacho - Corporate I/S

　

URGENT - PLEASE READ THIS !

During the past two months we have been preparing the campus for the cutover, on April 16, 1993, to the new SL-100 telephone system. This system will replace the NEC PBX system which currently provides telephone service to the main Shoreline Campus.

　

During this process, we have discovered that certain splices in the buried telephone cable have corroded. It is essential that this be fixed before April 16th.

　

To this end, we will have a maintenance crew on campus to perform this maintenance splicing activity. Work is scheduled to begin on Tuesday, February 23, and. will continue through Friday, March 12, 1993. While no interruption in telephone service is anticipated, we want to bring this activity to your attention.

　

This maintenance work will require some trenching activity around the conduit system from Building 2 to Building 7. Within the conduit is the main fiber optic cable providing network connectivity to and from Building 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10 to the rest of the campus, via the 192.26.51 and 180.166.0.0 backbone networks.

　

In the unlikely event that the fiber optic cable should be severed, Network Operations will have a temporary fiber cable in place to transfer the current 51 and 150 net circuits with a minimal amount of down time. Note that the temporary cable, if required, will only restate primary campus service, excluding connectivity for the Engineering Spine, Security Cameras or the Facilities Environmental Network, to Buildings 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10.

　

Should the need arise, fiber technicians will be available to quickly repair the permanent fiber link. Once service is restored a public email notice will be sent to inform everyone.

　

During this periods, please continue to call the I/S Assistance Center at extension 4357 if you experience any voice or data networking issues. Thanks.